If you’ve been asked by a good friend to be a bridesmaid at her wedding there really are a few etiquette things you need to know about how to be a good bridesmaid. Though it all looks like a piece of cake that anyone could do just after falling out of bed, there are some things that need to be finessed if things are going to go smoothly. Here are some tips which will help keep both you and your friend, the bride, on an even keel.
Whatever you do, don’t go missing in action
If you have a tendency to not respond to emails and texts, nothing will get your bride-to-be in a snit and fuming more quickly than this behaviour. Best advice? Don’t do it. The bride is under enough stress. Having to add worrying about whether or not you will be there for her when she needs it is a big no go. If you skip out on things like party-favour making night or arrive late at the wedding shower, she may come to regret having asked you to stand up for her and that will certainly put a crimp on your friendship but also her Big Day as well. This issue is an easy one to avoid. It does not mean that every time she calls or texts you that you have to literally drop everything you’re doing and tend to her. But do respond to her queries in a timely manner and always keep your response upbeat even if she is saying that the house is falling down. One of the roles for a bridesmaid is to keep the bride calm and always moving forward.
Sending in an RSVP for your significant other who wasn’t invited
Of course a bridesmaid should always be allowed to bring a guest to her friend’s wedding. That being said, however, it is rude to just assume that you can do that. If your invitation was addressed only to you and did not include the words “and guest” don’t RSVP for two people. You will certainly stir up her ire by doing so. One of the best ways to deal with a situation like this if you’re a bridesmaid is to simply talk to the bride. Explain to her that you have a very special man in your life and you’d like to be able to include him. Most likely it was an oversight and it can be cleared up quickly.
Asking the same questions about fine details over and over again
Another role that a bridesmaid is supposed to fulfill is helping the bride keep track of all the pesky little details involved in planning a wedding. If you are continually asking her the same questions over and over again about the same fine details, she may start to resent that not only does she have to manage those details, she now has to manage you. You need to make sure that the role you play in her wedding is to help make HER life easier, not more difficult. You can avoid falling into this trap by keeping a close eye on her wedding website. Keep notes if you have to. If you have a question, ask your another bridesmaid -- she might have the information you’re seeking.
Don’t wait until the last minute to purchase your dress
If you are going to be wearing the same dress as all the other bridesmaids, the bride may worry incessantly that the gown will be sold out by the time you go to buy it. If you and each other bridesmaid are wearing different dresses, if you wait until the last minute to purchase yours the bride may worry that your dress will not go with the other dresses. Do her a favour and don’t wait until the last minute.
Don’t fight with any other bridesmaid
No bride wants to deal with drama within her own bridal party. If you are constantly arguing with another bridesmaid or coming to her with complaints about another bridesmaid she will definitely not appreciate it or you. Again, remember that your role as a bridesmaid is to make her life easier on all fronts, not more difficult. If she perceives you as part of the problem, she will be sorry she asked you. This kind of problem is very easy to avoid if you can find another person outside of the wedding party to whom you can vent. Remember that serving as a can is a time-limited endeavour.
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